Little Waves

It was a nice change of pace to be out of Wellington. Auckland is a bigger, more sprawling city and has a more sub-tropical climate. Unfortunately that meant bad traffic and rain for us. Still, we eked out a lovely time, highlighted by a visit to Waiheke Island with Kyla and Joel. Kyla and Brad worked together on “Rings” and she now lives in Auckland with Joel.

We took the 35 minute ferry to Waiheke and found enough warmth and sun in between clouds blowing over to enjoy a beach visit. Ondine came alive once our feet hit sand and it didn’t take more than a minute or two for her to be spashing in the waves. Oneroa beach is a wide, soft sand and safe swimming beach so we all had a good time watching her jump up and down, throw rocks, and dig holes in the waves. We made it safely back to Auckland and topped off our gorgeous day with a spectacular sushi dinner to celebrate Kyla’s birthday. YUM!

As many of you already know, we got tickets to see His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet in Auckland. Not having an other choice, we decided to bring Ondine along as it was an all-ages show. If she had been at her best she might have done a tad better than she did, but it ended up being at her most tired time of day (2pm) and she basically just didn’t want to be there. We of course didn’t want to be disruptive so Brad and I took turns taking her to the lobby to run around, and then Brad very graciously offered to take her back to the hotel. I was able to enjoy the last hour of his talk without disruption, which was a huge pleasure. Thanks darling!

Of course it was amazing in a way that is hard to describe, but mostly it was incredible to feel the impact of his words. It wasn’t as though he said anything I hadn’t heard or read before, but because it was HIM saying it, it carried more weight. At one point he talked about his hope for women to take on more positions of leadership to usher in a new century guided by empathy and compassion – and I felt like he was speaking directly to me.  He was funny at times, charming throughout and spoke volumes through his grounded energy and focused mind. Again, it is too much to summarize here, but I am thrilled we went and feel honored to have had the opportunity to be with him in a relatively small environment (another bonus of living in a small country!).

And while Ondine didn’t sit and listen intently to him (ha! as if…) she DID still get a lot out of the whole experience. Most of the monks as well as the Tibetan songstress who sang at the event were staying in our hotel which was just next to the venue. We smiled, waved and chatted with all of them in the hotel and around it throughout the weekend. They were delightful and Ondine enjoyed them and I think maybe found them mysterious as well. The singer in particular was likewise enamored with Ondine. Due to her steel-trap memory, we are convinced she absolutely will remember much of it.

After what felt like an eternity, the film Avatar was finally completed. We get to see it next week at a crew showing at Weta before it opens worldwide on the 18th. Tonight, Wellington hosted the world premiere for The Lovely Bones, another film on which Brad did some VFX work. We got to see that last night. Week before last, Weta threw a BIG party to celebrate the completion of both of these films. There were something like 1600 some odd invitations sent out to this gig and they held it in a giant terminal building on the waterfront. We had a GOOD TIME. It was memorable and that is about all I think I will say! :=)

Thanks to Roger for this shot. In a tragic maneuver I deleted all the shots Brad took that night with our little camera. The realization was quite painful, but thankfully, as I said – it was a memorable night.

The only extra thing I will add is another moment of gratitude, this time for our babysitter, her mother and sister who came to pick up Ondine at 9:30am the next morning and took her out for a FOUR HOUR playdate, while I went back to bed (joining Brad who was still there). A chance to recouperate without additional toddler induced pain was nothing short of brilliant.

And OH WAIT – one more thing. I am VERY proud of Brad for the incredible amount of hard work he and his work mates put into the making of this film. There were weeks without weekends, looong days into nights, and many challenging moments throughout this entire year to say the very least. I applaud Brad and all the folks at Weta who might just make movie history with the cutting edge work done on this film. Way to go!!!

Almost every single day, for the last year, I have written and shared a list of things for which I am grateful. I was invited into this “gratitude practice” by a friend and have since invited in many others. As a parent of a toddler, I find it challenging to make time to engage in a formal meditation sitting practice (and who am I kidding, I have always found it difficult). This gratitude exercise is the one thing that I do nearly every day to stop, breathe, consider what has been wonderful and fulfilling in my day, and write it down to be shared with others (monthly, rotating partners).

It’s hard to convey all the ways in which this practice has altered me and my path. For sure it has gotten me through some low-lows and blue times. For sure it has opened my heart. For sure I have been blessed to be on the receiving end of other’s open-hearted, deep and often poetic sharing of gratitude. It’s amazing how EASY it is to find things for which to be grateful. Sometimes I feel adverse, lazy or reluctant to sit down and write mine out, but it often only takes thinking of 1 thing for 5 or more to follow. Ultimately, it keeps gratitude “on top” and keeps me spinning in a positive direction, and that is certainly a gift that keeps on giving – it makes me a better wife, parent, friend, sister, daughter and stranger. As you can imagine, and as its been said so many times before, it is usually really mundane and little things that can fill me up the most. Please ask me if you’re interesting in joining in.

I had the idea that I would copy and paste my gratitudes here but then realized I had been doing it for a year already and that would be WAY too long. So this is a random sampling – and long enough as it is.

Flower arranging with Ondine with flowers from our garden. It’s easy to find things to be grateful for indeed!

I AM GRATEFUL

For Brad, who took Ondine out today so I could have some solo time.
For turning on the music and dancing my heart out all alone in my living room! ahh, I’ve needed to do that for so long.
For the fabulous bath I had during that time as well.
For the delicious homemade pizza tonight.
For being on the same page with Brad today in regards to parenting Ondine, which was quite a challenge.

For green curry;
For being allowed to sleep in!!!!!!!!!!!;
For yoga and the strength, centering and bliss it brings me;
For sharing creativity with others, especially Ondine.

For making it through this exhausting weekend – relatively unharmed
I am grateful for dinner out tonight with my family
I am grateful for a stunning day of weather
I am grateful for technology helping to foster feelings of connection
I am grateful for the ease, safety and comfort I enjoy.

Today I am grateful for having some good friends here. I went out last night and really enjoyed spending time with a few women I’ve come to know.
I am grateful to my husband Brad for urging me to have a “girls night” and staying home with Ondine so I could.

I am incredibly grateful for living across the road from the ocean and being able to breathe in its energy on a daily basis. A little sunshine goes a long way for this lady.

Today I am grateful that I am free from work stress at the moment. Lots of people around me are really feeling it and I am not. I want to savor this time before I have to go back, be in the present moment with Ondine and relish in the greater health that comes from not working. I am SO lucky.

Today I was reminded by my other gratitude partner to be thankful for this time of year. I am grateful that New Zealand is smaller and less oppressively commercialized around Xmas as well (they don’t ever get too excited about anything – its part of their controlled nature). Ondine is just beginning to learn the stories related to xmas and we are having so much fun telling them. It will be great to see how much she “gets” this year. But the truly wonderful part of this time of year is all the reminders to be generous of spirit and to slow down and be kind. I can already feel it in the air…

Today I am just deeply grateful for the abundance of love I have for my daughter. She is SO much fun to be with 95% of the time and today she is just cracking me up. I am grateful that she is old enough to really engage with me and communicate her feelings more fully, as it helps deepen our relationship.

I am also grateful for the love I feel coming from her – it fills me up so completely.

Today I am grateful for long days with beautiful sunsets. Its 9pm here and the sun is down but the sky is still alight with golds, tangerines and soft blues.

Today I am so grateful to the caring, nurturing, creative and silly spirit that embodies my daughter. I swear sometimes she is just pure light.
I am also brimming with gratitude towards my husband, who is exhausted but still eager and excited to spend the entire weekend alone with Ondine so I can have my first significant rest and break from motherhood. I leave tomorrow morning for 2 nights and over two days at a retreat center for my upcoming 40th bday. I will sleep, eat healthy food, get a massage and maybe a facial, walk, read, meditate, create, dream and take care of all my needs as they arise, in each moment. It will be bliss.

I am SO lucky!!!

I am grateful for the outstanding bodywork sessions I received.
I am grateful for the safe, open, relaxed, healthy and wise energy that held me while I was there.
I am grateful that Jane was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on; and even more grateful when she shared an hour’s walk with me to help talk me through my feelings – her feedback feels life altering.
I am grateful to my sister for secretly paying for one of my treatments.
I am endlessly grateful to my husband for taking on solo parenthood for the entire time and doing it all without a single complaint.
I am grateful to have been greeted by the open arms of my daughter who I missed so much and who really is my world.
I am grateful that she is napping now, allowing me a slow re-entry back into my world.
I am grateful for all the ease, health, happiness and love I have in my life.

I am so grateful for the fun this week has brought… especially during such dire times, it feels more important than ever to relax and laugh.

Today I am grateful for having time to be together as a family. We enjoyed a relaxed day together in town and at home. I am grateful that there is ease in parenting together with Brad these days.

I am grateful today for a short passage I read in a book yesterday while at a friend’s house. She is also raising a daughter and that is the books premise. I read about how important it is that in raising girls we model a healthy attitude towards our bodies. While I know this of course, it struck me how aggravated I am with my post-pregnancy belly rolls that I can’t seem to get rid of, and how I might be expressing that to Ondine in subtle ways (I certainly don’t speak to her about it). This passage reminded me to love myself as I am and to be mindful of the all the ways in which Ondine learns from me directly and indirectly.
I am grateful for the reminder to love myself as I am, even my “muffin top”!

Today I am grateful for how rested Ondine was all day and how delightful she was to be with – nary a meltdown all day!
I am grateful Brad came home for dinner before returning to work as I know how hard that is for him to do.
I am grateful I used my time for myself today as well as to get important things done (found a balance).
I am grateful we got out this afternoon for a walk and a talk at the zoo with Jacqui and Ethan.

For making it through today despite a bellyache during most of it.
For the space heater in my room.
For movies in bed.
For a feeling of community this morning at Ondine’s school.
For the 2 epic, bright and amazing rainbow’s today.
For the recent turn towards saying “I love you mom” from Ondine. (aww)

a Saturday sleep in
a house to myself all morning
my own music played loudly
a hot bath, with salts, scrubs, masks and hair treatment
a date night

BIG wind – what a powerful mother we have (140 kph!).
An outstanding daughter on all accounts.
A great, solid marriage.
Good loose black tea.
The waves.
Friends.
Dreams.
Rest.

…for a quiet and restful day spent mostly indoors with Ondine so she can heal from her cold, while the gusty wind and rain rattled the house.
…for being honored as a safe ear to listen to a friend who was hurt by another.
…for new stuff.
…for silly magazines.
…for ease.

Today I am grateful for the universal direction turning back to the positive. The last two days felt like I could do nothing right and all I met were insane obstacles. Today it felt like magical elephants were clearing my path allowing for better than expected results. I love imaging the elephants… the Ganesh energy and the clearing away of that negative energy.
I am grateful I made it to yoga and have the intention to go again tomorrow.
I am grateful for fun social time with cool moms and their kids.
I am grateful for being asked to help celebrate a new and dear friend’s birthday on the eve of her first birth. It’s magical and exciting to be around imminent birthing!
I am grateful that I have a daughter whose most annoying trait as of late is that she wants to give too many cuddles.

For successfully butterflying my first chicken and roasting it to perfection! mmm
For time to listen to and support a friend as she talked about her sister’s trials with breast cancer.
For magnificent New Zealand scenery lately – even if it does include snow at very low levels! bbrrrrr.
For new boots!
For the ease, safety, health and love in my current daily life.

I am just feeling both overwhelmingly lucky to have a great life here in NZ and at the same time extraordinarily excited about leaving (heh) winter to go visit family and friends in California. My anticipation about our trip is quite high. I am also trying to stay in the moment and enjoy the last days we have here with friends before we go. I am grateful that our community here continues to grow and deepen.
I am so deeply grateful for the loving and fun relationship I have with my daughter. She is just such an amazing delight. Her creative self is bursting forth and it is glorious to behold and to engage with – what a spark she is for me.
I am deeply grateful for the trust, safety, love and humor in my marriage.

For playdates
For salmon with soy and maple glaze
For Ondine’s laughter
For a nice note from a friend
For big New Zealand clouds

For Brad, and all his intelligence, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, creativity, humor, hard work and tenderness.

I am grateful for Brad’s tenderness and understanding on a blue day for me.
I am grateful for an uncomplicated schedule today.
I am grateful for self-forgiveness (when I pull it off)
I am grateful for longer days to come

I am grateful to be reminded today by a friend of the power of sharing gratitude.
I am grateful for a delightful bath tonight, and for the deep relaxation it has provided me.
I am grateful there was no rain today.
I am grateful I had a productive day.
I am grateful for hilarious comments from my 3 year-old daughter Ondine, like today, “Mommy, I like how you are behaving”.

I am grateful for sunshine and warm weather today; it is SO amazing how one day of good weather can turn my mood around.
I am grateful for a relaxed and fun day with Ondine and Brad.
I am grateful for having access to a beautiful farmer’s market and fresh caught fish off a boat in the harbor.
I am grateful for a fun-filled Halloween day with Ondine and Brad yesterday.

I am grateful for getting more social time overall which ignites me and lessens my blues about missing home.

I am grateful for having access to osteopathy here and getting some relief for my plantar fasciitis.
I am grateful for a lovely, warm and still evening tonight – what a delightful change.
I am grateful for a head full of ideas.
I am grateful for a good chat with my sister in Portland.
I am grateful for the ease, safety and privilege we enjoy, even though our stresses sometimes outshine that.

As mentioned, the weather here can be, as they say “changeable” (I call it schizophrenic). So when the clouds and threat of rain returned again, the offer to join Hayley and Finley for a matinee sounded great. Ondine had only been to see two other movies in the theater, with mixed results. But I thought a Christmas movie would be good to get us in the spirit of things. Wow, how wrong I was! We went to see a christmas carol and let’s just say she spent a lot of time in my lap asking me to put my hands over her eyes. Yeah. It was a wee bit too scary and dark for her (as well as for the rest of us).

The trailer for another movie was playing when we arrived – the one for Where the Wild Things Are – and sadly for me, she didn’t react well to that either. I was kind of hoping we could all go see it, but I think Brad and I will go and leave Ondine out. On the other hand, it doesn’t stop her from liking the storybook or playing with her wild thing toys (thanks Colin!) or having fun pretending to be Max…

As mentioned, Brad was meant to go away with his mates weekend before last, but it turned into a family affair in the end. Thankfully for me, Brad was still willing to take on two days of Ondine-care while I had a weekend full of plans. On Saturday I attended the first of a two-day class called “How to Start Your Own Small Business” at the local community/adult school. It was very thought-provoking and interesting. It will finish next Saturday and I can honestly say that I am looking forward to Part II. Will keep you posted…

Yet, while the course WAS interesting, I can’t say it was a quarter as much fun as my Sunday plans. I lucked out when Hayley invited me to go to Toast Martinborough – the annual wine festival for the north island’s main wine region (yes, this is the same place we were last weekend). “Toast” is so popular an event that it sold out in 13 minutes this year! That’s part of what I mean about being lucky – but the truly lucky part was having a hilarious and marvelous time with friends Hayley, Lesleigh and Tessa. We dubbed ourselves “Weta Wives Gone Wild” but were too spent from being Weta Wives to actually make t-shirts. Plus, we had to wear coats most of the time anyway, due to the high winds that rattled the event all day long. It was a bit ridiculous at times… but Kiwi’s are resilient and it wasn’t freezing or wet and people rallied and we all managed to have quite a fine time despite the weather.

WWGW, early in the day (Hayley, Lesleigh, Tessa & Me)

The event is great in that not only are you tasting fantastic wines all day long, but the vineyards each couple with one of the regions top restaurants or caterers, so you get to eat fabulous food as well. And then to top it off, they bring out music and performers at each site too. Free shuttle buses take you from spot to spot and of course we took a bus there from Wellington and back too. Now wonder its a sell-out, eh?

Me, Lesleigh and Tessa – just getting started

Hayley and I – a self-portrait

warming up…

uh huh…

getting hotter…

pretty damn hot!

…and just plain lovely.

CHEERS!

Sadly, the high from our amazing weekend was brought to an uprupt stop with the news Monday morning that one of Brad’s closest friends had died. John was really more of a brother than a friend to Brad, having connected deeply ever since their time together in high school in Calabasas. Even though there was physical distance between them, they remained tight and trusted friends. John was a deep-thinking and deep-hearted man who had surmounted unthinkable obstacles in his life. While I only had the privilege of meeting him in person once, I felt I knew the strength of his character so well through Brad. He will be missed by many. May you be resting in peace John.

John and Brad during a visit a few years ago.

Brad had planned to go away for the weekend with his work mates to celebrate getting to the finish line on this film, but as does happen all too often, the deadline got moved out one last time – nixing the weekend plans. I was prepared to be a single parent so Brad had decided he would just go on his own and get some time away. But he made the critical mistake of telling Ondine in the morning that it was a “Special Daddy Day” (because it was a Saturday when we would NOT go to work). Suddenly Ondine was more attached to him than ever! So when it came time to consider packing up and saying goodbye later that afternoon, he just couldn’t do it. For about three minutes he considered taking Ondine with him (while I held my breath and prayed), but the reality of that didn’t quite equal the “down time” he had imagined for himself. And that is how it came to pass that we ALL decided to go!

It had been a long time since we had done anything spontaneous, and it felt GREAT. We packed up and were in the car in about 20 minutes. It was a beautiful day and so was the drive over the Rumatakas (like Hwy 17 for those of you Californians) and into the Wairarapa – NZ’s wine country. The terrain actually looks quite similar to northern California, but with a lot more sheep.

photos by Brad

We let Ondine take photos from the back seat with my camera, and stopped MANY times so she could shoot the baby lambs, sheep, birds and trees. Sadly, somehow most of her shots were lost. Here are some of the ones that were saved.

Since we decided to leave so late in the day, that we arrived at our cottage in time to make dinner and put Ondine to bed. Brad and I lit a fire in the wood stove and read in front of it until some ultra late time, like 9:30pm. In the morning, I let Brad have a sleep and Ondine and I made breakfast and played games. There wasn’t much to do in or around the cottage and it was raining a bit, so we just packed up and hit the road again. We planned to have lunch in Martinborough but Ondine fell asleep in the car, making that her first nap in about 6 weeks (so we weren’t about to wake her). When she did wake up, we stopped off at a public park just off the road with a cool swing bridge and beautiful native bush. It also happened to be the location where they shot some of the “Rivendell” scenes for LOTR, but of course that had NOTHING to do with our interest in going there. (Ahem).

Ondine loved this. MUCH more so than her Daddy, who white-knuckled it both ways.

Truly becoming a Kiwi – fern education!

All in all, it was a spectular weekend, filled with natural beauty, relaxation and quality family time. That is an all-time equation!

Halloween is little understood here. It makes us realize what a particularly American holiday it is – or has become. When we were here last time it was SO misunderstood and barely registered on anyone’s radar. I can remember being at home at our place in Owhiro Bay when a small gaggle of children dressed up – the girls were all witches and the boys all ghosts – came to the door. When I opened it, I paused to wait for the typical blaring “TRICK OR TREAT”". Instead these children just looked up at me with raised eyebrows, mouths agape and goodie bags outstretched. When I said back to them, “What do you say?”, all I got in return was the littlest witch replying in a tiny and unsure voice, “Lollies?”. DOH!

Eight years later the phenomenon of Halloween has caught on a bit more, but not that much. Because Weta brings such a large community of Americans to Wellington, we were able to engage in it as much as any one. Brad and I longed to take Ondine to a pumpkin patch and enjoy the cool breezes of a Bay Area Fall season approaching… but alas, weren’t able to do all of that. However, we were invited to a Halloween party in the morning (Brad worked; yaaawn) and Weta threw a big party at one of their office buildings – at which kids could “trick or treat” throughout the offices collecting “lollies” along the way. It was a great turn out this year and the weather cooperated, so that was great. There was a group who went on to actually trick or treat around the one neighborhood willing to play along, but it was late and we were hungry for dinner so we came home and passed out candy to the whopping four groups of kids who came to our door. Sadly, like so many others who engage in such folly, we have a MASSIVE bag of candy in the pantry now. I literally threw it on the top shelf as far back as I could…

Here are some shots from the fun we had:

Ondine wanted to be a Kitty Kat and thanks to a friend who traveled to the States last month, she got to wear this winner of a ticky tacky costume a la TJ MAXX. She DID love it, though said at one point, “Wait Mom, cats don’t wear skirts!”

More than a few of the kids were unsure about the game of trying to eat the donut without using their hands.

Phaedrea-Witch. Quite unsure

You want me to do WHAT?

Ondine takes a turn swinging at the pinata. I wish one of us had our cameras ready when Ondine stood under it holding open her loot bag before the game had really begun…

BabyRyderSpider

Kitty Kat and FinleySpider go for a bounce.
Great party Tessa, Patrick and Mikah!

Mama Bunny

…and best family costume goes HANDS DOWN to the Stephens:

Way to rock it!!

Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!!!!